The other day, I was running an origami workshop to teach people how to fold an origami Siu Mai (燒賣), a form of Dim Sum.
Most of the guests were respectful. However, there was one lady that was struggling and was asking for my help with an accompanying “the beckoning finger” hand gesture signaling me to go over to her.
I was FURIOUS!
This gesture is only used to beckon dogs in my country, so I thought this lady was being extremely rude. I assumed she is a rude person, so I ignored her for the rest of the workshop, she didn’t have a good time, but me neither. It impacted my mood for the rest of the day.
I was thinking about it on my way home because it does not make sense to offend a complete stranger, so I looked it up and found this explanation from elearningontario.ca:
Curling the index finger with the palm facing up is a common gesture that people in the United States use to beckon someone to come closer… However, it is considered a rude gesture in many other parts of the world. It is used only to beckon dogs in many Asian countries.
Oh dear! I was mad for no reason. Since I am in North America, the gesture does not have an offensive meaning to the lady.
Looking back, instead of feeling grumpy, I should have either talked to her about how this made me feel or talked to the local people around me to have more context of the situation.
In other words, I reacted before I understand the full picture.
How this lesson can be applied to designers
Designers are a weird breed, we get offended very easily, and sometimes we assumed stakeholders don’t respect design.
“Can you just design this thing? It should be easy, right?”
When we hear this, we heard: “Your job is easy” and think they were being disrespectful. In truth, they could just mean “It should be easy for you, right? Cause you are a kick-ass designer.”
Think of your friend that is great at computers, when you ask them to fix your computer, don’t you think the job will be easy for them? It would be strange if they took offense to that.
Very few people act rudely on purpose, if you felt insulted, find out why people act the way they are and voice your concerns. If they were deliberately insulting you, then you can take offense. Before that — Don’t assume, ask!
